He was made for me

Caleb is now almost 17 months old.  At times I find myself thinking and wondering where has the time gone? I was reminiscing last night on my first few days with him.  I was scared to becoming a mother, mostly because of the unknown.  But when he arrived, he changed it all.  Even now,  I feel so much love and protection for him, it is like I am beside myself.  I never knew I could have so much patience.  I am not perfect, there are some times when I have wanted to pull my hair out, but it is not often.  I find myself calm when he is in a moment of crisis or drama, and this can only be from God.  God made him for me. He made me to be his mother.

Caleb is a perfect fit for Josh and I.  He has both of our personalities and looks, but he is also uniquely his own.  He is at the stage now of loving and wanting hugs and cuddles a lot throughout the day.  It is so sweet! He will raise his arms for me to pick him up,  put his head on my shoulder, stroke my arm, and a minute or two later he was done, and wants to go about his business :-)

Yesterday Josh and I went to Church for the first time in months.  We had tried one here before, but because of both of us usually working on Sunday, it has been to hard to do.  We wanted to try a new-to-us Church, just to test the waters.  Josh's brothers played with a band in this church a while ago, so we got to check it out then.  For the first time in years, yesterday I did not feel anxiety.  I almost felt at peace.  We felt comfortable.  People welcomed us, genuinely. No one made us stand up in front of everyone to sing us a song to make us feel welcome. They were just real and comfortable.  We never felt forced to join in the worship like the way worship leaders wanted us to. We worshipped in our own way, and were not made to feel guilty.  We were not yelled at in the sermon.  There was no condemnation like if we left, we would be on the "path to destruction". The Associate Pastor TOLD US THIS before we left that church, which is run by family.  That is why we left Nova Scotia.

It is interesting too, that this church is called "Journey", because that is what we are on.  A new journey of discovering the real love of God, and we are happy with this new journey.