One year in NB

Oh my, it is so hard to believe that one year ago we packed up very quickly, and moved to New Brunswick.  We had actually decided about a month before the move to actually do it, but we waited to tell everyone.  We had to do it that way because it was more of an escape for us.  We did not want the drama from certain people.  In February of 2013, we had a discussion with the associate pastor of the church we attended about some big concerns we had about the ministry.  It was a disaster.  He accused us of "trying to control the Holy Spirit" because we didn't agree with shouting and being yelled at on Sunday's, he said that the reason we felt that way was because we had issues that we refused to deal with. When we asked why responsibility was not being taken, he said if something was wrong then he would know it. In other words, what we said really didn't matter because we were not important.  The heated discussion went on into the evening, and nothing was resolved. We tried. The next morning at church, he took the entire conversation and used it as his sermon.  It was an effort to shame us, and put fear into us to stay in that church.  That was the last straw.

Every Sunday preceding that last Sunday was always filled with condemnation filled sermons, and a LOT of old testament rhetoric.  We were told to never, ever question leadership.  Everything would be fine if you didn't, but once you start, you are on their radar as a possible enemy.  Things were also very, very secretive.  Begging congregants for money, to take out loans and mortgages to finance the failed attempt of a Christian business that could not pay the bills.  None of this is an exaggeration.  They said that this business that they started was "God's baby" and it was the church's responsibility to "take care of the baby" (pay for it). This was followed by congregants who said they had dreams about this business, and about how God was going to pour into it financially within months, etc.  The business was evicted less than a year later, and taken to court for not paying the rent. Before the closing, we, as well as others, poured our own personal finances into it thinking we were doing a good thing...and we were told that we would be paid back, but to never tell anyone. As soon as they said to keep it quiet, I was seriously regretting giving anything.  To date we have not seen a nickel back of the thousands we loaned.  We have also learned this is the fate of others as well.

We decided to move to Fredericton, as I have family here, and it is a beautiful place to raise a young family.  It is also far from that place, and from people who only care if we do what they want.  The associate pastor tried to tell my husband that if he left, he would be on the "path to destruction". We are quite happy actually, and we are glad we did not listen to threats.  These people act nice to us now, as if nothing ever happened.  But behind our backs they told people that we left the church because my husband had "problems". The leadership covering their own backsides, trying to save face.  They have done this each time a member would leave the church.  The self-proclaimed Prophetess of that church was heard saying of my husband "I raise my boys to be a certain way, and one goes and betrays me". If leaving to live a life with his wife is a betrayal, then they a hypocritical about a man leaving his father and mother, and cleaving only to his wife. (Ephesians 5:31). That was a main staple in the pre-marriage counselling as well!)

We have forgiven, but we will not forget.

If you have grown up in that environment, then that is all you know.  That is indeed heartbreaking.  To sit week after week and just take the abuse in the name of love, just hoping things get better, you are just lying to yourself.  I can tell you now that our experiences were not just mere misunderstandings.  We left a cult.

Right before we left, tired out.  Sadly, we could not see our new Niece who was newly born early that morning, as we had a 6 hour drive ahead of us.

On the move, almost 4 months old

One year ago we packed up our tiny car, with our four month old, and began a new journey for us.  It was the best decision we ever made.  We still struggle with the idea of church, and going to church is actually a scary thing. It is going to take time and a lot of healing to trust again.  I feel so incredibly heartbroken and sad for those who chose to stay in that place.  They can get mad at me if they want, the probably already are, but I won't have my mouth taped shut, or my fingers taped together. I want them to be free to think for themselves, not fed what to think from the pulpit. I was told it is easier to just ignore what they say, and let it go, but that is unhealthy, and unconsciously you will be letting their words into your soul.

We are happy in our new home, and love the peace we have being on our own.  We do miss our friends and family in NS, and hope someday this can all be a distant memory.  We are constantly praying for those affected, even if they do not know that they are.